The Gift of Encouragement - I’m Proud of You
A few days ago, during my monthly check-in call with my life coach (yes, I have a life coach and will share more about why in a future post), she chuckled and said, “You don’t need me to tell you I’m proud of you, but I am because you are doing the work.” I replied with a chuckle, “Actually, I do need to hear you say you are proud of me. It motivates me to keep moving forward and validates my efforts.”
This positive exchange got me thinking about the significant impact of telling someone you are proud of them. I began to sparingly use this compliment a few years ago with some friends to express my admiration and support for their efforts in areas of life where I knew they were working hard to improve or change. While they didn’t necessarily need me to tell them I was proud of them, their grateful “thank you” responses made it clear my words had touched them.
“I’m proud of you” is not your typical everyday compliment, and that’s what makes it powerful. Compliments like “great job,” “amazing work,” or “well done” easily roll off the tongue and can brighten someone’s day. However, telling someone you are proud of them takes forethought and is a gift of recognition and validation. By expressing this sentiment, you demonstrate that you see them on their journey.
I consider myself fortunate to have a spouse who tells me he’s proud of me at just the right moments – although sometimes I can’t help but laugh and think, “You’re proud of me for that?” In all seriousness though, when he says, “I am proud of you,” I feel seen for my efforts and supported. And I do my best to let him know when I am proud of him too.
I used to think that this compliment was reserved for acknowledging outstanding life achievements such as graduations, a job promotion, or encouragement from a parent to a child, but I think its significance grows as we age. As life speeds up, our accomplishments often slow down, and depending on the season in our lives, the opportunities to be told I’m proud of you become less frequent.
When we say, “I am proud of you,” it doesn’t always have to be tied to a grand achievement or success. We may be proud of the person for taking their first or second challenging step toward a goal. Perhaps they are in a season of self-discovery or self-improvement and are making progress despite facing strong headwinds or maybe they completed an important task they had been putting off for weeks.
As we grow older, the words I am proud of you may shift from a focus on outcomes to the actions and steps taken, which can often be the most challenging part. Sometimes the result isn’t a success; sometimes, it’s a failure. Nevertheless, we can still be proud of someone for embarking on a journey and a willingness to try.
When delivered thoughtfully from the heart and with the right intent, this compliment showcases our deeper understanding and appreciation for a family member, spouse, friend, co-worker, mentor, or mentee. It demonstrates that we recognize their efforts and are paying attention. If you are the recipient of this powerful compliment, embrace it with gratitude and say thank you.
Don’t fear giving the gift of affirmation. You never know when someone needs that extra acknowledgment to fuel their journey and boost their confidence.
